Tensions run high at nine-year-old's funeral

Kim Bolan,The Vancouver Sun

Bill Keay, Vancouver Sun / GRIEVING: family members leave the funeral of nine-year-old Sean Pelletier, who hanged himself last Friday; the child shown on the left is Sean's seven-year-old brother Kyle Pelletier; reporters were prohib ited from attending the service

CHILLIWACK -- The minister officiating at the funeral of a nine-year-old boy who hanged himself last week appealed for calm Thursday as tensions ran high among family members gathered to say farewell to the child.

Relatives of Sean Pelletier have blamed the ministry of families and children for not removing the boy from his mother's Abbotsford home, despite repeated complaints of neglect and allegations of abuse.

The minister, identified in the prayer card as Rev. Henry Deschamps, referred to the conflict in the family and pleaded with those present to put aside their differences in memory of Sean.

The minister said he was at the boy's side when he was pulled off life support at Vancouver Children's Hospital last Saturday.

"I had the privilege of being there, of feeling the last heartbeat of Sean, and when that plug was pulled, it was a feeling that I never want to experience again."

He added: "This is a heart-wrenching day. People are feeling emotions that might turn into something they are not expecting. Put them aside today."

Sean's father's fiance, who was not identified, also told the crowd of more than 100 people: "Emotions are running high. One thing that was very important to Sean was family. He is a part of all of us. Despite what people are feeling, put it aside for today."

Funeral home staff banned the media from the property and family friends, many wearing motorcycle garb, provided security outside the front door.

Sean's paternal grandmother, Diana Carlisle, told The Vancouver Sun earlier that Sean was desperate to move in with her son, John Pelletier, who had been fighting to get custody of Sean and his seven-year-old brother Kyle for three years.

The social services ministry has admitted complaints about the boys' living conditions had been investigated shortly before Sean's death and that a a decision was made to leave the boys in the custody of their mother.

The death is now being investigated by the ministry, the Abbotsford police, the area coroner and the Children's Commission.

But Thursday, the school friends, relatives and acquaintances gathered at the funeral focused more on Sean than on his premature death.

Two fishing rods -- a reminder of times the boy had spent fishing with his father -- were propped against a memorial bench bearing candles, flowers and a photo of Sean.

Pallbearers carried the boy's body into the chapel in a child-sized white brocade coffin.

They remembered Sean as a loving boy, with lots of friends, who loved to ride his bike and was very close to his little brother. The younger boy greeted those who arrived Thursday with hugs, kisses and smiles. He is now in the care of a relative, thoug h the ministry has filed the paperwork to make him a ward.

A poem written by Carlisle for Sean was read: "When you feel a gentle breeze caress your cheek, it is me, when you see an eagle flying high with the wind beneath its wings, gliding high, it is me. Please do not cry for me. The pain I felt, I feel no mo re. My Heavenly father has taken me home."

Government officials have been blamed for not removing the boy from his mother's care.